waited too long

 waited too long

It's all over once again

Note: The story is fictionally based and interlinked with the previous other chapters of  Waited too long.

OK, this time it seems I'm confused about where to start this from? do I need to start counting the
mistakes which I committed when she left, oops I mean vanished or do I need to start from the time when she called me all the way after a year.

Now I'm not the same person as before she vanished, everything is changed the only thigh which is left is the way I love her remains the same, the way I still get excited to speak to her. but what's the use now when u have committed so many mistakes that you have no right to see or speak, she deserves better much much better. now it's a hard time to realize it. It's all over bruh.

Never knew, love is the most addictive drug I have ever tried in my life, if I start counting the side effects I myself don't know how long the list goes on.

Late at night after a year, my phone rang and it was her, initially even though it was hard to digest that it was her, like I mean she called, it was her, why again after so long when I'm trying to get away. ha agree that I had muted her profile for a long just trying to let go of things per kaha hua, Kabhi Kabhi I used to go back and stalk for a while not just to try getting her but to see if everything is going fine with her.

She might not know how much I missed her but the voice initially once she spoke with her soft tone, ooh god it just melted my heart, yeah it was for some reason she called but never mind I just wanted to hear her voice, feel her next to me, the heavy pain which I was carrying all this time was getting lighter after speaking to her, I tried to pull the conversation as long as it could be but sooner or later had to understand myself that the call will end at a certain point, but dude she called. it was very rarely I feel she used to call. wait no it was me who used to call her every time.

 Wait did she call me dumb stupid etc. yeah I let her do that because I know sometimes it feels good from inside that I act on purpose just trying all those stupid questions and all just to pull the conversation a bit long. I hope she never catches me on this. because even those words sound so cute tbh (to be honest).

If you guys are curious to know what was the reason she called after a long time, it is a big secret but here is one thing for you guys to know the reason she called was to keep me safe from a part where I'm involved in, don't worry nothing illegal but trying to stop from bad influence people. Taking it in a positive way I'm happy that she has 0.00000001% of care inside left for me so that I can fulfill the rest making it whole 100% 

bye, she said and I replied bye and are we surely meeting up right.

she said mostly weekends and I agreed and the call got disconnected.

This was my last and only chance to speak and later her know what I feel for her but it's not for regret or to get her back or anything because after the mistakes I have committed, I have no rights and I truly believe that she deserves much and much better but to let myself free, I mean I have caged myself with her thoughts and there is a link which has held me still and I want myself free this time. 

Later the weekend (the day of the meetup)

sir, can I get a glass of water, ok sir the waiter replied. It was a cool place where even wine and beer were served with a very lavish type of ambiance. the place was crowded and I can see groups of people everywhere enjoying the drinks, speaking, laughing grooving with the live song which was going on, and having fun, I bit nervous inside and all my mind wanted her to stop and never let her go but all this time the heart wanted was peace, peace for myself, wanted to feel the freedom from all those days where I could feel was caged with her thoughts, I wanted to breathe, like a breath of freedom.

it was almost half an hour that had passed and she was late, but this time I knew deep inside that if it was not this time then it was never, I had to say it out and let myself free.

I was worried but I didn't want to call and trouble her, I thought she was stuck in the busy traffic and I reached the place an hour prior with excitement that I will be meeting her after a long time.

It's been an hour+ now from the time we decided to meet, I couldn't control just not because of the excitement but was worried about her.

I called the phone rang once, twice and the third time she disconnected, I assumed that she reached might be because of that but wait I got a normal message notification and she mentioned sorry, got caught up with some urgent work and will meet up next time.

I laughed with a wide smile and called the waiter and asked him to get a bottle of red wine and one after the other drank till my stomach was full but by then the place turned darker with the colorful lights moving all around the DJ music was on and it loud and all that I remember was my eyes could hardly see around, it was like a blur to understand what's going on till I completely shut down like a pc and fell on the ground.....

Now don't ask me what mistakes I committed during the last phase of my life when she vanished, One by one all will be revealed like one chapter after another.